HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
