i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
