I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
