whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize