try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
