How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
