When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think i have two assholes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize