i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
