I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
