So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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