So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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