So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
