We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize