and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
