I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
