Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
