And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
