sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
