Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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