the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
