I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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