It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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