I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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