I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
