Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
drinking out of a sandbucket again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
