so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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