He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize