My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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