You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
