yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
