we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
