I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize