Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
