I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
