this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
