i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
