is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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