let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will be naked everywhere
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
