we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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