Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
