Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
