did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
