Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
