Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
