a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
