Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
