better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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