i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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