my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
