I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
