I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
