I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
