I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You dont lie about slip and slides
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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