i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
