I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
