At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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