My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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