I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
