Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
