There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
