I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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